Two things I learnt from today's Daily Mail

1. Grammar schools can kill
A tragic story of a schoolboy who died in as-yet-unknown circumstances at home is given the Daily Mail makeover and suddenly transforms into a tale of how free, state-run grammar schools are so terrible that their pupils die within weeks of arriving.

Ms Taylor had been sending him to the fee-paying Steephill School in Fawkham, Kent, where it costs £2,245 a term, but had recently moved him to nearby Wilmington Grammar School which is state-run and free of charge.

You have been warned.

2. You can't be injured by a carrot
In full “ridiculous compensation culture” flow, the Mail complains that:

A schoolgirl has won a cash payout for slipping over on a carrot - and another pupil was handed cash after falling on wet leaves in the playground, in the latest compensation cases against schools.

So we learn that it isn't the injury you sustain that should govern your compensation, it's what causes it. A crippling injury from tripping on a carrot is “ridiculous” whilst, presumably, a minor sprain sustained in a less humourous way would be more deserving. At no point in the article does the Mail say what the injuries sustained actually were.